Overview of Responsibility Training
Responsibility Training/Nurturing is the term we use when describing the process of parents (in partnership with God) encouraging the child to move toward maturity.  Each step happens as the parent observes that the child has developed the abilities required for that next task and teaches him to do it independently.  As he learns that task it now becomes the child’s to do without help (even if it would be easier and faster if the parent did it for him.) 

This growth happens in specific areas of life – socially, emotionally, intellectually, language development, physically (small and gross motor skills) and spiritually.
In pregnancy the parents, in partnership with God, have total responsibility (proper nutrition, fluids, rest, protein, exercise, etc.) and the child has no responsibility. After the baby is born parents continue to have a great responsibility but not total.  A small degree is given to the child as he learns to live outside of the womb and become part of the family (not the center of it). His part gradually increases as he develops and grows.  Parents, still in partnership with God, may have the next 18-23 years to prepare him to be released into adulthood, where he will no longer depend on his parents but instead depend on God.   What an awesome privilege God has given parents as we nurture our children “in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.”
Ephesians 6:4

Milestones on the path of growth:

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  • Learns to sleep by himself (apart from parent’s arms)
  • Moves the longer stretch of sleep to night instead of day
  • Sleeps between feedings (stretching to 3 hours so fully hungry when he eats)
  • Self-soothes to get to sleep
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  • Sleeps through the night
  • Learns to bat at objects to entertain self
  • Rolls over and becomes mobile
  • Hangs on to objects and brings to mouth when placed in hand
  • Picks up objects and chews on them
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  • Picks up small pieces of soft food, gumming and swallowing (6 months)
  • Feeds self
  • Holds own cup
  • Helps dress self by offering arms and legs
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  • Walks when led
  • Pulls up to stand beside furniture
  • Takes some steps
  • Walks alone
  • Obeys simple instructions
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  • Obeys simple instructions
  • Holds object with thumb and two fingers
  • Walks up stairs with help
  • Crawls up and down stairs alone
  • Climbs into car seat with a little help
  • Dresses self
  • Walks up and down stairs alone
  • Climbs into car seat and high chair without help
  • Uses a fork to eat
  • Picks up toys with encouragement
  • Toilet trained
  • Helps with household tasks
  • Picks up toys on own
  • Chooses own clothes
  • Makes own bed
  • Does homework without being told
  • Free to roam further
  • Helps with younger children
  • Wakes up with alarm clock
  • Earns money with job (paper route, mowing lawn, babysitting, etc)
  • Learns to drive a car
  • Has first date
  • Curfew extended
  • Has regular Saturday job
  • Dates whom he chooses
  • Greater freedom with car
  • Spends money as he wishes
  • Sets own hours to be in
  • Goes to college
  • Young adult - Released from home and parental responsibilities
  • Understands dependence on God