The first two weeks:
At long last – your baby is here! Welcome to your little one! Let’s talk about the first two weeks and what to expect as you both are adjusting to this new life and establishing your breastfeeding relationship.
Everyone around you has a slightly different perspective on what you should be doing with your baby. You will find very quickly that those opinions are often opposing and yet each one convincing. Your head may still be whirling from the incredible miracle of the new life in your arms and you may feel confused. “What did I read in that book?" "Which nurse is right?" "I don’t have a clue what I am doing.”
If you are someone who wants to help your baby develop a routine that will help him assimilate into your family’s routine, this article is designed to help you know how to begin that process. This is a very special time of getting to know this special gift from God and will be like none other in your life, so we want you to enjoy it to the fullest.
Labor is hard work. Not only for you but also for your baby. So the first hours of his life you will find that he is very sleepy and recovering from that long trek down the birth canal. Hopefully, you had an opportunity to offer him the breast shortly after delivery and hold him skin to skin. If not, take your first opportunity as soon as possible. Your baby may sleep up to five hours during that first stretch of sleep post delivery so if you want to give him that recuperation time before starting the feeding routine it won’t harm your baby or effect your milk supply. Most babies are too sleepy to eat, even if you try during that first five or six hours. So feel free to use that time to get some rest and wait to offer the breast until that five hour mark is up. (The five hours is marked from the beginning of the first feed. For example, if you started feeding him right after delivery at 4 a.m. the next feeding should be no later that 9 a.m. or sooner if he wakes up.) After that period you can start the routine of feeding every two or two and half hours to help get your milk supply going and give him the colostrum that is so nourishing.
For the first few days you will produce colostrum before your milk comes. Colostrum is full of healthy vitamins and protein. Feeding him often (two to two and a half hours between feedings, 15-20 minutes on each side) for the first couple of days will not only give stimulation that will bring your milk in quickly but will give great benefits to you baby’s immune system. Your sleepy baby may have a hard time waking for those important feedings. If after you change his diaper and put him to the breast, if he is still too sleepy to open his mouth and latch on, you may have to undress him to wake him, or talk to him or rub his feet. If he falls back to sleep once he is on the breast you can try running your fingers up and down his spine or rubbing his foot vigorously to encourage him to keep eating.
Newborns need about 20 - 22 hours of sleep, eating 6 to 8 times a day. So they are basically going to eat and then sleep, eat and then sleep around the clock. In the first week you may have to continue to wake him when it is time to eat. He will probably be able to sleep through noise and movement. But there will be times when he stays awake for a longer period of time. You might be tempted to keep him awake and enjoy his alertness. But keep in mind that if he is still awake as the two-hour mark approaches, it will be much harder for him to go to sleep because he will start to feel a little hungry. So try to put him down to sleep by the one-hour mark. If he is still awake after the one hour mark, it will be to his advantage to soothe him until the milk from the last feeding has had a chance to digest completely, which is around two hours for breast milk. Feeding on top of undigested milk can cause gas. When he has gas, it may seem like he is hungry. But if you try feeding him before the two hour mark he can easily get into the cycle of snacking - taking only a little bit, falling asleep, waking up 20 minutes later, crying. To break that cycle you will need to hold him off and help him get really hungry before you feed him again. Try offering a pacifier or hand him to someone else to walk around with him or try to get him to sleep. It is much easier for him to make it to the next feeding if he is asleep.
Moving the long stretch of sleep to night:
Babies naturally tend to have a longer stretch of sleep (usually around 5 hours) at least once during the 24-hour span. We can encourage that long stretch to be at night, not during the day by doing a couple of things: Practice putting him back to bed after he eats in the night. Don't turn on the lights or talk to him, just feed him and lay him back down. Help him learn from the start that nighttime is not a time to be awake. If he doesn’t go right back to sleep after eating during the night, he may need to soothed back to sleep in the dark. It could work better to have his father or someone else do it quietly, without playing with him. It is also helpful to wake him up during the day (at the three hour mark the first week) so he won't take his five hour stretch then. Once he has gained his birth weight back, you can let him wake up on his own at night. At that time you can let him sleep three and half hours during the daytime before you wake him up. (At 3-4 weeks, or when our babies have sufficiently gained weight (are above birth weight and continuing to gain), we start letting them wake up on their own, even in the daytime. Some of them have been such sufficient eaters that they go a four hour stretch between feedings during the day and still gain weight at a good rate of growth. Their longer sleep period at night often stretches into six, seven or eight hours. This helps us learn our individual baby's rhythm.)
Moving toward a routine:
Once baby has gained his birth weight back the routine can change slightly. We now know he is getting enough to eat so we can let him eat every three to three and half hours as he wakes on his own. We try to make sure that it isn’t any sooner than two and a half hours. This is so we don’t feed milk on top of undigested milk, and to help him to be truly hungry before he starts to feed. It is important that he nurse vigorously and fully at each feeding so that he can get milk with the higher fat content that comes as the breast is emptied. (This is often referred to as hind milk.)
Producing rich milk:
What we eat will affect the content of our milk. We encourage eating fresh vegetables and fruit, protein from good sources and lots of butter and cream. The butter fat in whole milk, cream and butter will go straight into our milk and will help our child get the good milk fat that will help him stretch longer between feedings, and to gain weight and grow. We don’t even consider dieting to loose our baby weight at this point. Our main concern will still be helping our baby get off to a good healthy start in life by feeding him well. Breastfeeding will burn lots of calories (1000 a day) and we need to eat lots to keep up!
We encourage everyone to continue to take prenatal vitamins and add a high potency B-complex as well. The B vitamins give extra energy and also helps increase our milk supply. Those of us from an older generation may remember using Brewer's Yeast. Taking B-vitamins is a much simpler way to get the supply needed.
Dealing with fussy baby:
Sometimes our baby is just going to be fussy, not matter what we do. Check his diaper to make sure it is clean and look at the clock. How long has it been since he last ate? Usually a fussy baby is a tired baby. Maybe he is overtired because he has had too much stimulation. One of the best things we can do is recognize that crying is important. It is the only way he can communicate and it is the only way his lungs get exercise. Sometimes we just need to lay him down and walk out of the room and let him fuss to get through his the too-tired-to-fall to sleep period. It will give him some good exercise as he moves around in his frustration. If he is still crying after ten or fifteen minutes we can then try a restart, and see if something else will calm him enough to help him go back to sleep. Check his diaper again. Offer a pacifier. Shush with him. Wrap him with a blanket. Rock him. Sing to him. Do whatever it takes to help him get to sleep or to help him make it to the next feed time.
Usually around two weeks things begin to change. He is more alert and aware and he may now not be able to sleep through loud noises or with people moving all around him. There will be times when he is awake and not eating! We can enjoy his awake time and his cooing but we may have to do different things to help him with his sleep. Look for those hints in "After the First Month"
Everyone around you has a slightly different perspective on what you should be doing with your baby. You will find very quickly that those opinions are often opposing and yet each one convincing. Your head may still be whirling from the incredible miracle of the new life in your arms and you may feel confused. “What did I read in that book?" "Which nurse is right?" "I don’t have a clue what I am doing.”
If you are someone who wants to help your baby develop a routine that will help him assimilate into your family’s routine, this article is designed to help you know how to begin that process. This is a very special time of getting to know this special gift from God and will be like none other in your life, so we want you to enjoy it to the fullest.
Labor is hard work. Not only for you but also for your baby. So the first hours of his life you will find that he is very sleepy and recovering from that long trek down the birth canal. Hopefully, you had an opportunity to offer him the breast shortly after delivery and hold him skin to skin. If not, take your first opportunity as soon as possible. Your baby may sleep up to five hours during that first stretch of sleep post delivery so if you want to give him that recuperation time before starting the feeding routine it won’t harm your baby or effect your milk supply. Most babies are too sleepy to eat, even if you try during that first five or six hours. So feel free to use that time to get some rest and wait to offer the breast until that five hour mark is up. (The five hours is marked from the beginning of the first feed. For example, if you started feeding him right after delivery at 4 a.m. the next feeding should be no later that 9 a.m. or sooner if he wakes up.) After that period you can start the routine of feeding every two or two and half hours to help get your milk supply going and give him the colostrum that is so nourishing.
For the first few days you will produce colostrum before your milk comes. Colostrum is full of healthy vitamins and protein. Feeding him often (two to two and a half hours between feedings, 15-20 minutes on each side) for the first couple of days will not only give stimulation that will bring your milk in quickly but will give great benefits to you baby’s immune system. Your sleepy baby may have a hard time waking for those important feedings. If after you change his diaper and put him to the breast, if he is still too sleepy to open his mouth and latch on, you may have to undress him to wake him, or talk to him or rub his feet. If he falls back to sleep once he is on the breast you can try running your fingers up and down his spine or rubbing his foot vigorously to encourage him to keep eating.
Newborns need about 20 - 22 hours of sleep, eating 6 to 8 times a day. So they are basically going to eat and then sleep, eat and then sleep around the clock. In the first week you may have to continue to wake him when it is time to eat. He will probably be able to sleep through noise and movement. But there will be times when he stays awake for a longer period of time. You might be tempted to keep him awake and enjoy his alertness. But keep in mind that if he is still awake as the two-hour mark approaches, it will be much harder for him to go to sleep because he will start to feel a little hungry. So try to put him down to sleep by the one-hour mark. If he is still awake after the one hour mark, it will be to his advantage to soothe him until the milk from the last feeding has had a chance to digest completely, which is around two hours for breast milk. Feeding on top of undigested milk can cause gas. When he has gas, it may seem like he is hungry. But if you try feeding him before the two hour mark he can easily get into the cycle of snacking - taking only a little bit, falling asleep, waking up 20 minutes later, crying. To break that cycle you will need to hold him off and help him get really hungry before you feed him again. Try offering a pacifier or hand him to someone else to walk around with him or try to get him to sleep. It is much easier for him to make it to the next feeding if he is asleep.
Moving the long stretch of sleep to night:
Babies naturally tend to have a longer stretch of sleep (usually around 5 hours) at least once during the 24-hour span. We can encourage that long stretch to be at night, not during the day by doing a couple of things: Practice putting him back to bed after he eats in the night. Don't turn on the lights or talk to him, just feed him and lay him back down. Help him learn from the start that nighttime is not a time to be awake. If he doesn’t go right back to sleep after eating during the night, he may need to soothed back to sleep in the dark. It could work better to have his father or someone else do it quietly, without playing with him. It is also helpful to wake him up during the day (at the three hour mark the first week) so he won't take his five hour stretch then. Once he has gained his birth weight back, you can let him wake up on his own at night. At that time you can let him sleep three and half hours during the daytime before you wake him up. (At 3-4 weeks, or when our babies have sufficiently gained weight (are above birth weight and continuing to gain), we start letting them wake up on their own, even in the daytime. Some of them have been such sufficient eaters that they go a four hour stretch between feedings during the day and still gain weight at a good rate of growth. Their longer sleep period at night often stretches into six, seven or eight hours. This helps us learn our individual baby's rhythm.)
Moving toward a routine:
Once baby has gained his birth weight back the routine can change slightly. We now know he is getting enough to eat so we can let him eat every three to three and half hours as he wakes on his own. We try to make sure that it isn’t any sooner than two and a half hours. This is so we don’t feed milk on top of undigested milk, and to help him to be truly hungry before he starts to feed. It is important that he nurse vigorously and fully at each feeding so that he can get milk with the higher fat content that comes as the breast is emptied. (This is often referred to as hind milk.)
Producing rich milk:
What we eat will affect the content of our milk. We encourage eating fresh vegetables and fruit, protein from good sources and lots of butter and cream. The butter fat in whole milk, cream and butter will go straight into our milk and will help our child get the good milk fat that will help him stretch longer between feedings, and to gain weight and grow. We don’t even consider dieting to loose our baby weight at this point. Our main concern will still be helping our baby get off to a good healthy start in life by feeding him well. Breastfeeding will burn lots of calories (1000 a day) and we need to eat lots to keep up!
We encourage everyone to continue to take prenatal vitamins and add a high potency B-complex as well. The B vitamins give extra energy and also helps increase our milk supply. Those of us from an older generation may remember using Brewer's Yeast. Taking B-vitamins is a much simpler way to get the supply needed.
Dealing with fussy baby:
Sometimes our baby is just going to be fussy, not matter what we do. Check his diaper to make sure it is clean and look at the clock. How long has it been since he last ate? Usually a fussy baby is a tired baby. Maybe he is overtired because he has had too much stimulation. One of the best things we can do is recognize that crying is important. It is the only way he can communicate and it is the only way his lungs get exercise. Sometimes we just need to lay him down and walk out of the room and let him fuss to get through his the too-tired-to-fall to sleep period. It will give him some good exercise as he moves around in his frustration. If he is still crying after ten or fifteen minutes we can then try a restart, and see if something else will calm him enough to help him go back to sleep. Check his diaper again. Offer a pacifier. Shush with him. Wrap him with a blanket. Rock him. Sing to him. Do whatever it takes to help him get to sleep or to help him make it to the next feed time.
Usually around two weeks things begin to change. He is more alert and aware and he may now not be able to sleep through loud noises or with people moving all around him. There will be times when he is awake and not eating! We can enjoy his awake time and his cooing but we may have to do different things to help him with his sleep. Look for those hints in "After the First Month"
Letter to a Brand New Mom
(Here is a letter from a first time mom who followed these practices, sent to her friend having her first baby two months later.)
I just finished feeding my little one and put her back down. I was thinking of you the whole time! I wanted to write you and give you some bullet points for your tired less than one-week-old mother brain :-)
I think days 4-6 were the hardest! And the Baby Whisperer [Tracy Hogg book] said that too. Give yourself grace. It's overwhelming but it won't always be this way. God gave you and your husband this baby on purpose, he wants you to be her parents. He knows what's going on with her body and is giving you the honor of learning about her and guiding her. He will give you wisdom.
Your job right now is to nurse your baby; to teach her to latch on properly and establish a healthy breastfeeding relationship. You two are a nursing couple and you will figure each other out soon! Have hope!
I wondered after we talked how she is sleeping - you only told me about her waking up every 45 min or 1 hr and if that is happening every time then there may be some simple things to help her sleep longer. She should naturally sleep for at least some of the day and in between most feedings. At this point it is not the time try to keep her awake after a full feeding but just during the feeding. Her awake time can include eating and burping! If she's startling herself awake try putting her on her tummy- you can do this for a nap where you can watch her hold her head up as she fusses to sleep, or check on her throughout. It's a possibility that she's a little sensitive in nature and doesn't sleep as well with the movements and noises of big people around. Anyways, I'd love to hear your thoughts on that and what you've observed.
Some people say not to use the pacifier until the breastfeeding relationship is established, until she has a good latch consistently. But in the hospital the lactation consultant told me the pacifier is a learned thing as well... To suck on it is sucking in to hold it in, whereas to nurse is almost the opposite, sticking her tongue out to get the nipple in the back of her mouth and move her jaw, which looks like spitting the pacifier out. So they are different but similar suckles.
Maybe try a few hours without it, or try a different shape of one. I would also say that when she's hungry she would suck harder on the pacifier and when she's crying of tiredness she might not want it. [This new baby was refusing the pacifier and fussing]
To break the cycle of short cat naps and short feedings where she falls asleep, let her wake herself up from a "long stretch.” If she is eating well and gaining it is not too early to let her go as long as she wants to sleep, one time during the 24 hour day. Preferably at night! Our little one’s body took her long stretch in the afternoon – it was so hard to wake her to feed - and she was active after eating in the middle of the night. So we just worked hard at waking her up in the day by not letting her go longer that three hours between feedings. Sometimes in the afternoons that first week I had to strip her down so she was cold, rub her hands & feet and keep walking my fingers up and down her back while nursing...
That's how you break out of "confused night and day" (a.k.a. when the long stretch isn't at night.) Every baby will have one time they naturally want to sleep longer. You can help her get that at nighttime. Right from the beginning you can practice putting her back to bed after she eats in the night. Don't turn on the lights or talk to her, etc. You may need to soothe her back to sleep or have your mom or husband do it quietly without playing with her.
To teach her a good latch you have to pop her off when it's shallow. "Fish hook her" as my husband calls it, breaking the suction so you don't hurt yourself. It's hard to do this because she will probably cry at you when you take her off. But you HAVE to take her off! You might have to pop her off as many as 10 times before she latches with her lips "flanged" and at first you may have to do it each time.
It will be worth it!! Remember The Lords call is to train your child and it starts with this, helping "hone" or tweak those natural instincts for sucking and sleeping.
Hit me up with any questions or emotions! I'm listening! I love you!
I think days 4-6 were the hardest! And the Baby Whisperer [Tracy Hogg book] said that too. Give yourself grace. It's overwhelming but it won't always be this way. God gave you and your husband this baby on purpose, he wants you to be her parents. He knows what's going on with her body and is giving you the honor of learning about her and guiding her. He will give you wisdom.
Your job right now is to nurse your baby; to teach her to latch on properly and establish a healthy breastfeeding relationship. You two are a nursing couple and you will figure each other out soon! Have hope!
I wondered after we talked how she is sleeping - you only told me about her waking up every 45 min or 1 hr and if that is happening every time then there may be some simple things to help her sleep longer. She should naturally sleep for at least some of the day and in between most feedings. At this point it is not the time try to keep her awake after a full feeding but just during the feeding. Her awake time can include eating and burping! If she's startling herself awake try putting her on her tummy- you can do this for a nap where you can watch her hold her head up as she fusses to sleep, or check on her throughout. It's a possibility that she's a little sensitive in nature and doesn't sleep as well with the movements and noises of big people around. Anyways, I'd love to hear your thoughts on that and what you've observed.
Some people say not to use the pacifier until the breastfeeding relationship is established, until she has a good latch consistently. But in the hospital the lactation consultant told me the pacifier is a learned thing as well... To suck on it is sucking in to hold it in, whereas to nurse is almost the opposite, sticking her tongue out to get the nipple in the back of her mouth and move her jaw, which looks like spitting the pacifier out. So they are different but similar suckles.
Maybe try a few hours without it, or try a different shape of one. I would also say that when she's hungry she would suck harder on the pacifier and when she's crying of tiredness she might not want it. [This new baby was refusing the pacifier and fussing]
To break the cycle of short cat naps and short feedings where she falls asleep, let her wake herself up from a "long stretch.” If she is eating well and gaining it is not too early to let her go as long as she wants to sleep, one time during the 24 hour day. Preferably at night! Our little one’s body took her long stretch in the afternoon – it was so hard to wake her to feed - and she was active after eating in the middle of the night. So we just worked hard at waking her up in the day by not letting her go longer that three hours between feedings. Sometimes in the afternoons that first week I had to strip her down so she was cold, rub her hands & feet and keep walking my fingers up and down her back while nursing...
That's how you break out of "confused night and day" (a.k.a. when the long stretch isn't at night.) Every baby will have one time they naturally want to sleep longer. You can help her get that at nighttime. Right from the beginning you can practice putting her back to bed after she eats in the night. Don't turn on the lights or talk to her, etc. You may need to soothe her back to sleep or have your mom or husband do it quietly without playing with her.
To teach her a good latch you have to pop her off when it's shallow. "Fish hook her" as my husband calls it, breaking the suction so you don't hurt yourself. It's hard to do this because she will probably cry at you when you take her off. But you HAVE to take her off! You might have to pop her off as many as 10 times before she latches with her lips "flanged" and at first you may have to do it each time.
It will be worth it!! Remember The Lords call is to train your child and it starts with this, helping "hone" or tweak those natural instincts for sucking and sleeping.
Hit me up with any questions or emotions! I'm listening! I love you!
