About the Authors
Verna is mom to Allison, Erin, Kristen, mom-in-law to Tori and Katie, and spiritual mom to many, many others. We (her daughters) have started this website as a place to pass on the encouragement, perspective, wisdom and specific advice that she's given to us. This website has been put together by our family and friends, based off of our experiences and research, as a response to "this is so helpful, you should write a book!" and the copy-and-pasting emails we've been doing in responding to friends who are new parents.
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Verna's heart -
Verna McCrillis had 5 kids in the 1970s and '80s, and as a Navy wife, started attending births of friends with deployed husbands, sharing life and child rearing with other young moms, and eventually became an elder in the community. In the spirit of 1 Timothy 2, she has gently shared her perspectives, wisdom gleaned over the years, and advice to many younger women. Her experience comes from teaching classes, developing curriculum, mentoring, hosting groups, building community, counseling, guiding weekend retreats, more mentoring and counseling... It's certainly an imperfect experience, advice from a flawed woman, but by the grace of God who delights in our weaknesses, it's been strength, joy and grace to many.
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Our worldview
We recognize that our philosophy on breastfeeding, sleep training, responsibility learning, and discipline may sound different than what the current culture is saying. We are committed to offering parents a choice. In a nutshell, here are some of the philosophies we used raising children and encourage others to consider:
We are in favor of helping our children fit into the family, gradually, as they are developmentally ready, opting for a parent directed approach to nurturing children, rather than the child directed approach. We want to raise children that understand God’s order and know that they are not the center of the universe. We care about mom’s and dad’s and other family member’s mental health and adjustment as well as the baby’s. We encourage parents to start with the big picture in mind and think about what direction they want to head as they parent, before birth and as they nurture the newborn. We help parents to think ahead about what they desire at 3 months, 1 year, 5 years, etc. so they can consider which direction they want to go.
We are not suggesting rigid schedules, but we are encouraging routines that meet each family’s needs. Do we desire that by 3 months our baby would be sleeping at least 8 – 12 hours at night, along with the other members of our family? If the answer is yes, we begin helping our children move in that direction from the beginning.
We are breastfeeding enthusiasts but realize that most current breastfeeding enthusiasts are encouraging demand feeding and the general practice of “attachment parenting” (AP). We feel that those practices may not fit all families and we believe it would be beneficial for new parents to hear an alternative method which still results in the same outcome – healthy breastfed babies who are loved and nurtured.
We personally do not care for the title "attachment parenting" because we believe it is a misnomer that implies a) that it is the only method which produces children who are attached to their parents b) that it always succeeds in creating attached/well bonded children. And we do not believe that demand feeding (feeding every time a baby fusses or cries) is the only way to have a successful breastfeeding experience. We give hints to how to determine if your baby's cry means he is hungry or tired or bored instead of assuming that he is hungry. We don’t encourage you to wear your babies all day, we believe you can breastfeed without pumping every day, and usually there is not a need to supplement with formula. Our suggestions are based on a mother directed routine. We don’t think co-sleeping is healthy. (In fact, we think babies should be in their own crib, cradle or basket on their tummies from the beginning. The first couple of weeks may be in the parent’s room for convenience but eventually will be in their own room.)
This is the way we raised our children, and they are healthy, happy, great sleepers (infants sleeping 8-12 hours at 6-8 weeks old), they are well adjusted and know that they are welcome members of a family unit, and they are most definitely attached to us. Based on our experience with our own children, and many other friends and family, we believe that there is room for moms and dads to be presented with other philosophies and encouraged to find something that works well for them and their baby. If you are interested in where to begin, if you intend to go the responsibility learning route, then this website is for you.
Our family representation includes grown children who are now parents themselves and are, in turn, nurturing their children similarly to the way they were nurtured. Including all the friends that have chosen this direction, we have thousands of personal examples to see the results of these principles in action. Many of you have thanked us personally for our guidance in helping you find joy in nurturing children who are a joy to be around.
With Love,
Verna, Allison, Erin, Kristen and, newly added to the team, Carlye
Now others are sharing this news and joining in the joy of helping new parents. With that in mind we are inviting others to join us to be mentors and will be offering classes and coaching to help others in this venture. See our companion website where you can get personal help and encouragement. Check out Joyfulnurturing.com
We are in favor of helping our children fit into the family, gradually, as they are developmentally ready, opting for a parent directed approach to nurturing children, rather than the child directed approach. We want to raise children that understand God’s order and know that they are not the center of the universe. We care about mom’s and dad’s and other family member’s mental health and adjustment as well as the baby’s. We encourage parents to start with the big picture in mind and think about what direction they want to head as they parent, before birth and as they nurture the newborn. We help parents to think ahead about what they desire at 3 months, 1 year, 5 years, etc. so they can consider which direction they want to go.
We are not suggesting rigid schedules, but we are encouraging routines that meet each family’s needs. Do we desire that by 3 months our baby would be sleeping at least 8 – 12 hours at night, along with the other members of our family? If the answer is yes, we begin helping our children move in that direction from the beginning.
We are breastfeeding enthusiasts but realize that most current breastfeeding enthusiasts are encouraging demand feeding and the general practice of “attachment parenting” (AP). We feel that those practices may not fit all families and we believe it would be beneficial for new parents to hear an alternative method which still results in the same outcome – healthy breastfed babies who are loved and nurtured.
We personally do not care for the title "attachment parenting" because we believe it is a misnomer that implies a) that it is the only method which produces children who are attached to their parents b) that it always succeeds in creating attached/well bonded children. And we do not believe that demand feeding (feeding every time a baby fusses or cries) is the only way to have a successful breastfeeding experience. We give hints to how to determine if your baby's cry means he is hungry or tired or bored instead of assuming that he is hungry. We don’t encourage you to wear your babies all day, we believe you can breastfeed without pumping every day, and usually there is not a need to supplement with formula. Our suggestions are based on a mother directed routine. We don’t think co-sleeping is healthy. (In fact, we think babies should be in their own crib, cradle or basket on their tummies from the beginning. The first couple of weeks may be in the parent’s room for convenience but eventually will be in their own room.)
This is the way we raised our children, and they are healthy, happy, great sleepers (infants sleeping 8-12 hours at 6-8 weeks old), they are well adjusted and know that they are welcome members of a family unit, and they are most definitely attached to us. Based on our experience with our own children, and many other friends and family, we believe that there is room for moms and dads to be presented with other philosophies and encouraged to find something that works well for them and their baby. If you are interested in where to begin, if you intend to go the responsibility learning route, then this website is for you.
Our family representation includes grown children who are now parents themselves and are, in turn, nurturing their children similarly to the way they were nurtured. Including all the friends that have chosen this direction, we have thousands of personal examples to see the results of these principles in action. Many of you have thanked us personally for our guidance in helping you find joy in nurturing children who are a joy to be around.
With Love,
Verna, Allison, Erin, Kristen and, newly added to the team, Carlye
Now others are sharing this news and joining in the joy of helping new parents. With that in mind we are inviting others to join us to be mentors and will be offering classes and coaching to help others in this venture. See our companion website where you can get personal help and encouragement. Check out Joyfulnurturing.com